Singaporeans are no good at dating? Who's opinion is that?

Singaporeans are a funny bunch. Even if they don't know it. I've been here for a couple of weeks and I was lucky enough to catch 2 important events. Firstly was Singapore's first medal since 1960 at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games and secondly I was witness to the funniest Prime Minster's address ever. There were some issues that were important policies disguised in a way that catered to the common Singaporean.These included better welfare for mothers to support more pregnancies in Singapore's waining population and important steps to improve freedom of speech but there was one part of Lee Hsien Loong's speech that should have been left out.

In his speech, that was published on the internet in text and video the Prime Minster basically spends time to tell his fellow Singaporeans that they don't know how to date. Sure this is related to the falling number of births in the country but a little more tact would not have gone astray. He first sites a case of a woman in her30th's who has worked all her life and is finding it hard to find a mate.

Relate conversation one matchmaker had with his client
Q: What do you usually do after work?
A: Go to the gym
Q: How about the weekends?
A: Stay at home with family
Q: Do you go out?
A: Yes, bring nieces and nephews out to play
Q: Have you met any new friends in the last week?
A: [Dead silence]
Q: How about the last 1 month?
A: [Dead silence again]

To add insult to injury, Mr Lee's speech proceeds to further examine that even when Singaporeans go on a date, they are ill prepared because"their social graces aren't up to scratch" and they have unrealistic expectations.

Unfortunately sometimes their social graces are not up to scratch
i. e.g. dating agency arranged for a guy to meet a date
ii. Setting was a romantic dinner at a nice restaurant
iii. But he showed up wearing slippers!
(1) Asked why he did not dress up for the occasion
(2) His reply – this is me, this is how I am
(3) After some tactful grooming advice, he made progress and learnt tokeep a pair of shoes in the car, and put them on before dates
(4) The couple are now happily married

And then proceeds to actually imply that Singaporeans cannot separate real attraction from movie romance.

f. Also need to have realistic expectations
i. Have to make an effort for the relationship to work
ii. Easy to get carried away by romantic images in the movies
(1) Meet someone of your dreams, instantly fall madly in love, get married, live happily ever after
iii. But we are ordinary people in real life
(1) May not have instant sparks on the first date
(2) But take time to discover the person for who he or she is, nurture the relationship, and love may blossom

All of this of course he sites independent research...from where you ask? Dating agencies! Somehow I don't think that these organisation have taken the steps to ensure that their research is impartial. By using these cases, at least to me, Lee comes off like a salesman for them. He even goes so far as to naming a number of them. I am sure that these agencies will experience a spike in business after this National Day celebration.

The most damning part of this speech though is that the leader of a nation is presenting this like a stand up comedian. A bad one at that. The audience laughs half heartedly at his anecdotes and in the end he spend 6 minutes not only airing to the world that Singaporean women are socially inept, but that Singaporean men are ill advised when it comes to courting and are interested in women half their age.

The Singaporeans I know don't fit this mold and it is a shame that, although his intentions are good, he didn't leave this strategy to schools, social workers or a well crafted public service media campaign and decided to include it in a speech for the Republic's anniversary. Happy birthday Singapore. Don't fret too much. There's someone out there for everyone.

Posted by email from Dedric's posterous